Booty Calls

By: Null of Undefined
Oct 19th 2019
Tags: steam pc harem dating sim

Table of Contents


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Skip Straight to the Horny Parts


Synopsis

What is a poor mermaid to do??

Booty Calls is a freemium VN browser game that's also available for Steam. If it weren't on Steam I wouldn't have come across it. I've been on the steam platform for so long that having legit porn games on it is still a complete novelty. I've bought several since I opened this site and reviews for them will be coming in the future.

Your nameless protagonist comes across a woman masturbating in public. But wouldn't you know it? She's actually a mermaid that made a deal with a sea witch to grow legs! (And a 'pussy', she won't let us forget to mention), but we're the only ones that can see her. The mermaid needs you to date and sleep with as many women as possible for, reasons? I guess so she can become a full human? Just go with it, the plot isn't the important thing here.

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The game plays like a standard VN. You meet girls, make dialogue choices, and they respond accordingly. All interactions cost energy which, you guessed it, recharges over time. This is freemium after all. You get 20 energy and recharge a single point every 6 minutes. Talking to a girl takes 1 energy, going on a date or having sex takes 4. If you're thinking that's going to take way to long to see everything, don't worry. The creators were generous enough to let you pay real earth money for more of everything in the game.

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Talking to the girls is your standard wish fulfillment dating dialogue. Your character says wild and inappropriate stuff to a girl they've never met, and the girls react well. It's about what you'd expect in a game like this. The main thread here is that everyone on the planet seems to be a large breasted woman who is way into you. Some of the dialogue suggests the existence of large asses, but I've yet to find one. Spending money can increase traits on girls that make you more successful on dates. Every 4 correct dialogue choices you make allows you to ask a question, all sexual of course.

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If you think you have what it takes, you can take a girl on a date. This mechanic most closely resembles a game instead of a VN. A specific game actually. It's pretty much Tsum Tsum. If you get enough points, you succeed and a picture of the girl in question arrives on your phone. (The in game phone, not your real one, that would be crazy). If you don't get enough points in time don't worry. You can always pay your hard earned real human money to keep going!

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Horny Parts

The following is a list of Horny components in this game, in order from least horny to most horny

  • The Pictures From Dating

    You'd think since these pictures are the primary porn in this game that it would rank higher. But most of them are bathing suit shots. By the way, did I mention that you have a limited amount of photo slots, and once it's full you have to buy more? You can use the in-game money for this but you can also, of course, use your real bucks. The price increases the more slots you buy.

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  • Sex

    Oh boy, you've been on 4 successful dates, and got all the droppable items you need (oh, you didn't? That's okay you can circumvent this with money) and now it's time for sex. This has got to be awesome. Well, actually it's the date game again, but this time if you win you get to see the girl with some jizz on them somewhere.

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Don't leave so soon! You almost forgot your reward! Another picture!

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Horniest Part

  • Dialogue

    Usually I put horny dialogue as pretty low on the horniness meter, but the dialogue in this game is insane. A lot of it is very uncanny valley. Especially since it's fully voiced and the line delivery is a little... off. It is, however, the most insane horny shit I've ever seen on a Steam game.

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Rating

Negative

This game ain't it. If it was the exact same game but with all the freemium stuff removed, it might be okay. To get anywhere you have to either play every 2 hours when your energy is full, or dump a ton of money into it. It's just not worth it for the pictures. I have nothing against still images in horny games. If I did this site wouldn't exist because that's most horny games. But to have to pay so much to get there is exploitative. Pile on top of that that the dialogue sounds like how a pickup artist sounds in their head, and it gives it a pretty uncomfortable vibe. Steer clear.