Oct 22nd 2019
Tags: pc, indie, platformer, shooter, puzzle
Table of Contents
Recent Articles
- Early Accsex: Orc Massage
Jun 13th 2022 | Editorial
You are a big green orc with a penchant for massage. Your goblin friend encourages you to start a career by offering massages to the local population of monster girls. Your three VIP clients each have their own short story to progress which evolves in to more... attentive massages each time. Are there strict ethical guidelines that every massage therapist must follow in order to maintain their license? Yes, but when these VIP clients want the big green D it would honestly just be rude to refuse.
- Hentai Houseparty: Gyaru Gangbang
Apr 9th 2022 | Review
You are a college aged "loser virgin" who was recently blackmailed into letting 3 gals move into your house. While they start off bossing you around and running the show, once they experience your supermassive junk they become your ever loving sex slaves. But how far can you push their limits? Turns out, pretty dang far.
- Squid Girls 18+
Mar 26th 2022 | Review
You are a young man named Craig. You love money and are great at manipulating people. After a failed suicide attempt you join a contest to win an obscene amount of money. The only catch? Alright you get it. It's Squid Games. We all know the deal. Even if you haven't seen the show you've probably absorbed enough through cultural osmosis to get the gist.
Popular Articles
- Early Accsex: Orc Massage
Jun 13th 2022 | Editorial
You are a big green orc with a penchant for massage. Your goblin friend encourages you to start a career by offering massages to the local population of monster girls. Your three VIP clients each have their own short story to progress which evolves in to more... attentive massages each time. Are there strict ethical guidelines that every massage therapist must follow in order to maintain their license? Yes, but when these VIP clients want the big green D it would honestly just be rude to refuse.
- Last Origin
Feb 29th 2020 | Review
This review is going to be a little different (I know I say that a lot). Last Origin is only available in Korea, and while there is an English patch for the Android version, it only translates most of the menu options. All of the character dialogue is unreadable to me. Because of that, I almost didn't know if I should review this game
- Make It Sexy: Ultra Street Fighter IV
Jan 27th 2020 | Editorial
As stated in my review of Fight Angel, Street Fighter is one of my favorite series of all times. Not only does it have the best (for me) combat system, but it has some of the hottest characters in existence. Fighting games always have the best girls/boys, and this game proves it. But can we make it... sexier?
Similar Articles
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You are... a guy. And you have to solve puzzles to... save? the girls! I'll be honest there really is like 0 story here. There's no dialogue, written or otherwise. You go from level to level, solve a puzzle, and receive sex.
- Among Waifus 18+
Dec 25th 2021 | Review
I'm going to do my best to explain the plot, but this game is a sever victim of Google Translate. Entire blocks of text are virtually unreadable due to Russian idioms not translating to English in any way that really makes sense. The broad strokes are pretty easy to understand though. You're Kara, a psychologist on one of the first space expeditions for humanity. You and your crew of totally stacked babes have to survive an alien attack, and determine if there's an alien hiding... AMONG US.
- Being a DIK: Season 1
Apr 8th 2020 | Review
You are a bright young student who just got accepted into B&R college! You have to navigate classes, pledging a frat, and juggling multiple love interests! But you also have a girl back home to think about. Or do you? You don't really know, but you're doing the best you can!
Haydee
Skip Straight to the Horny Parts
Synopsis
THICC ROBOT
Haydee is a 3D Puzzle Platformer released on PC on September 26th 2016. When I first bought this game shortly after it came out, I bounced off it pretty hard because of its difficulty. Coming back in 2019 I've been trying to be more patient with games, and I'm very glad I did in this case.
You are Haydee. An impossibly thicc robot that is one of many identical robots. You activate in some sort of scientific facility (a la Portal) and have to try to escape. The game has no story outside of the game-play, there are no cut-scenes and no dialogue. Each color coded area you get to is harder than the one before. There are a lot of perfect jumps that you need to make, and surprise enemies that you must save ammo for. You also have a limited amount of saves which isn't something that should be in any video game. Especially with how much trial and error this game expects you to do.
And that's... really all I can say for the story and game-play. Every once in a while you get new items, they usually give you a new verb that lets you get into a new area. For the most part you'll be doing the same thing the whole time: Crawling, Climbing, and Dying. It can get frustrating at times because of how many times you'll be doing the same thing over and over. This is my main complaint with Haydee. Once you complete something, you better not make a mistake and die, or you'll have to do it again. With all the backtracking you'll get good at navigating the instant death puzzles, but it only takes one little slip up to lose a ton of progress. I'm not usually one for save scumming, but I wish it was an option here.
Horny Parts
The following is a list of Horny components in this game, in order from least horny to most horny
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Haydee Herself
This robot is thicc. Extra strength thicc. And I love it, and I thank the developers for it. So many video game characters have big boobs and Haydee is no exception. But she also has something that so many video games lack. A formidable ass.
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Haydee's Animation
Her exaggerated animation is incredibly sexy. Partnered with a camera that is always giving you the perfect angle, it's a blessing.
Horniest Part
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Mods
Steam recently started allowing adult content in their store. This allowance extends to the workshop. Haydee has the option to choose from hundreds of outfits (and full body mods) from the steam workshop. You can also get upgraded animations, as if the stock ones weren't horny enough
Rating
Positive
This game is hard, very hard. I died and got frustrated a lot, but I'm glad I stuck with it. It feels so rewarding to get past something you were stuck on. (And then managing to get to a save point before you walk off a ledge like an idiot [me]). Would I enjoy it more with infinite saves, or a quicksave and quickload? Definitely. But that may only be because as I get older I have less time to play video games. It grates on me when I have to do something that I already did moments before. I appreciate when games are like, "Hey I know you have a job, and a larger backlog of games than you'll ever be able to finish, so we cut out a lot of the bs." Additional pain points are very dark areas that you have to go through to get the night vision ability. Also switches that activate things that you can't see, so you don't have a clear path forward. A map would also remedy a lot of my complaints. Haydee is still fun and sexy enough to keep me engaged. It's at least worth 1 good play through.